a little bit of this and a little bit of that

a little bit of this and a little bit of that
georgia peach

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Who am I

Who am I?
Based on real life events..

I am a daughter by birth and a sister by chance.

I am a daughter through adoption.

I am a wife and a mother to four wonderful kids..
not perfect in any sense of the matter, yet still their mother.

I am a friend to one and all.

I do not judge people for what they look like rather try to see the
contents of their heart and go based on the perceptions that I see.

I feel that I am a good person, who would help anyone as much as I was able.

However, lately my character of who I am and the person that others know me to be
has been called into question.

Declaring me to be a fragile self absorbed person, not living in reality, unfit to be a mother, having a deplorable home so bad that the person who wrote this report said that I am suicidal and should not have my children with me any longer until I go to psycho therapy, attend parent classes and get my home in livable condition.

I have had my world turned upside down in the last six months and yes there were days that I may have cried an ocean, there may have been days when there were three baskets of laundry in the basement.

Here's what I know.

My husband is incarcerated and sentenced to 25 years of prison(only by the grace of God will that change.

My house was in foreclosure and God took care of that for 48 dollars.

My ex husband has been draining the life out of any money that I had (which was next to none) trying to get custody of the children that I have had for their entire lives.

I was told that my only source of income would be discontinued after February.

Children and youth were called and that makes me a target for them,, but thank The Lord they are actually on my side

Yeah, that about covers the stress that I have been under.,. not tot mention that fact that I have four children that I am raising all on my own with little outside help.

So excuse me if I have seemed a bit stressed and I ask any one who wants to challenge my parenting abilities.. exactly what kind of shape would they be in placed in my exact circumstances.

Here's my reality. I have kept my house going for almost 18 months by myself..


I have kept the bills paid on little or next to nothing.. the kids have survived and are actually doing well. (The girls have good grades)

I have not ended up in the nut hut or even come close though there were a couple of times without the support of my friends and some family. it might have been a close call

I have kept up all obligations with bills cars kids house and lawn, I have made sure that my children didn't starve or ever go hungry. They have been appropriately dressed for all seasons.. *well at least I provided the ability whether or not they chose to wear a coat was on them..ie the girls)

On top of these things. I have been involved with my church and started a jail ministry of writing to prisoners who are mostly lifers.

I have been a support to others who have family or friends incarcerated and even been their taxi to help them with their errands.. like picking them up to take them to visit their inmate, taking them to the grocery store, even taking my one friend to have her elderly cat put to sleep and picked up his ashes and delivered them when she couldn't do so for herself.

I feel that I have risen above the circumstances that life has thrown my way and am making strides to move forward despite all that has been taken from me.

I am currently studying to take the civil service test to be a postal carrier and on my fourth time taking a practice test got a 100% on part of the test.

So in all of this am I bragging.. nope absolutely not.. I am just saying that I am an over-comer and always have been.

Oh that lady's vicious report, yeah it cut me deep in my heart, but I know that is not who I am. Her words were biased and prejudiced against me, and most people who know my story, tell me that they think that I am strong and don't even know how I have made it this far.

Sometimes in life people will say things that are not true. Things that may cut you like a knife, but in reality each person knows that they have worth not based on what one person says or does.

I have always found my worth in what my Lord thinks of me.

He says that I am the apple of his eye, that he has my name carved on the palm of His hand. H says that I am a daughter of the king, co heirs with Jesus his son. He says that he loves me enough to die for me and enough to come again to take me to his Heaven to be with Him. God tells me of my worth and tells me to run to Him when I need a Safe Haven or a Rock or a Refuge.

So who am I? I am a daughter of the Most High God and I find my worth in Him.
I hope that when things go wrong in your life that you also may find your true worth and value in the One who loves you and cherishes you as His very own.

Amen!!