As a little girl, I had the same dreams as other girls, to grow up one day
to be a princess, to meet my knight in shining armor, to ride off into the sun set, to live happily ever after, with our perfect little children, in a perfect little dream world where nothing ever went wrong.
I'm sure lots of people had that same fantasy and then one day, they realized.... ummmm.... wellllll.... that isn't going to work out quite as I had planned.
When my first divorce was final, I got a good dose of reality that said... yeah your life isn't going to have that perfect little happy ending that you always dreamed of.
I had two children and a failed marriage... of which I take credit for my portion and the rest is just bad history.....
Then, marriage #2 came along and I thought Oh.... this time it is going to be better.. I know everything that went wrong the first time around, and I know all the mistakes not to make and all the ones to look for in this one...
Psyche!!!!! No this one had it's own pit falls and things I couldn't predict from my magic marriage ball of wonders.
This one came with it's own ups and downs and now that I am in it up to my elbows almost 9 years later... we have had our share of difficulties.. more than I can tell you in this blog..
As a matter of fact, my anniversary is Christmas Eve and it is the fourth one of nine that I will be "Celebrating" alone... because he is incarcerated.. for crimes he didn't commit.
Anyone can say anything they want, but I have all the facts and have lived this now for 6 years... so spare the judgement if you please...
Right now, I am typing at 5:30 am because I was laying on the couch... couldn't sleep, not for the first time either since he's been gone..
Thinking about my life and the loss of things I had planned and hoped for.. to be able to celebrate my anniversary together.. to plan where we would go to make it special... not ever thinking as a kid.. that I would have to go to jail and have salad and soda which kind would you like me to get for you dear?
Thinking about Christmas coming up the next day... and how I wish my little boys could be waking up to Christmas morning after months of anticipation and see the joy in their daddy's eyes as he would watch them open their presents that we had so carefully picked out....
But that has never actually happened for this is his third Christmas gone and they are 3 and 4 so nope that isn't the case...
It is just me... having to go it alone.. no one to help with the wrapping or the tree or anything... just me laying on the couch crying and wishing he were here to hold me and wipe away all the tears, that never seem to end..
They flow down my cheeks just watching a stupid tv show that always has a happy ending.. you know there is always a Christmas miracle on tv..
But not for me.. just pain and suffering stress and heartache...
broken dreams that seem to way so heavy on me..
I want to be happy and share my life with the one I love... but that is not the case...
So yes, in here I can whine and lay it all out.. I only have a few followers of my blog.. so this isn't going to make national news... I am not running for president or any other major roll and if I ever do.. well if they ever read this blog that I wrote in my distress... well then at least the world would know that I was a real person with real feelings....
I am always the one that tries to keep it real, but tries to end with the positive so that the reader, goes away feeling empowered.. like yes if Georgia can go though that.. and still smile.. and trust God then maybe I can go through what ever it is that he or she might be experiencing at that moment...
So let me say... Yes I have broken dreams, shattered laying on the floor of my life, even as I write this.. but I do know who is my Rock and I lean on Jesus every day..
With out Him as my savior, I wouldn't have made it through this journey that has been my life..
never a bowl of cherries.. always hard from early childhood until this very moment in time, but Jesus is the answer to my life..
He is picking up the broken pieces of my life and putting them back in some sort of semblance.. what I see is the broken bits of tile, like the plaque I made for my friends the Youngs... It is laying there all ready for the grout, but without the grout it just looks like chunks of pottery.. and that is the way my life feels like hunks of brokenness..
I am so glad for the Potter... He knows my life has been full of broken dreams and heart ache and He is so gently picking up each sliver of my life and mending me back together...
Do I wish the healing was already over and that my life was back to "NORMAl...ummmmm yeeeeeesssss... but at this point I seriously don't even know what normAL is... I am in the barely making it stage... But i know whom my Redeemer is and for that I am so thankful.
I know that Jesus is the anchor that I cling to and with HIM... I will never be alone..
Thank you Lord...
Monday, December 19, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
Dear Santa: From a Good Mother..
Dear Santa:
I have been a good mother this year: well almost
I have to admit there were a couple of times I yelled and even got mad.
but you might have too: if:
You had to lift your toilet off the floor 7 times (buy a new one twice);
clean up 3,650 messes some big some small;
drag the cat out of the toilet 4 times;
pull 2 small children back to safety a couple dozen times or more;
answer 16 million questions of WHY?;
come up with a reason that IT IS FAIR 4,200 times,
clean up pee, poop and projectile vomit;
chase the dog down a zillion times;
break up 1,200 fights (a day);
scrub marker off the walls more times than I care to remember;
stepped in dog dirt too many times;
cleaned broken glass out of your foot that no one knew how it got broken in the first place;
The list could go on forever, but this is what I want to say.... Santa if I could ask for a few minor things, this is what they would be:
A toilet that isn't clogg-able, or one that you can see clear through the ceramic right where it is clogged and have a tool to quickly remove it without all the mess.
How about a robot that could keep the house spotless and the children well groomed.
A Car that filled itself with gas every time.
And kids that didn't fuss, argue or whine.
Do you think you could throw in a moment of sanity so I might remember if I took a shower that day.
I know I am sounding greedy, now Santa, but maybe you could even give me a day when all of my children acted like perfect angels, said "YES MOMMY, right away"
and hair and clothes that looked just right like the movie stars on tv.
Would it be too much to ask for a solid night of sleep without the children waking up screaming or having to go pee.
Oh Santa, I know it's an awfully long list, and I am sure I forgot a few things , like thankful children and a loving husband who always called me love and honey.. and dare I say a pocket full of money... to spend just on me?
(Oops! You should over look that one.. I was just kidding..)
But hey! I figure if you could make Rudolph and all his buddies fly around the world..
You could check my list, twice... if need be and say YEAH WHAT THE HECK.... after all she has been a good mother this year.. Well Almost!!!
I have been a good mother this year: well almost
I have to admit there were a couple of times I yelled and even got mad.
but you might have too: if:
You had to lift your toilet off the floor 7 times (buy a new one twice);
clean up 3,650 messes some big some small;
drag the cat out of the toilet 4 times;
pull 2 small children back to safety a couple dozen times or more;
answer 16 million questions of WHY?;
come up with a reason that IT IS FAIR 4,200 times,
clean up pee, poop and projectile vomit;
chase the dog down a zillion times;
break up 1,200 fights (a day);
scrub marker off the walls more times than I care to remember;
stepped in dog dirt too many times;
cleaned broken glass out of your foot that no one knew how it got broken in the first place;
The list could go on forever, but this is what I want to say.... Santa if I could ask for a few minor things, this is what they would be:
A toilet that isn't clogg-able, or one that you can see clear through the ceramic right where it is clogged and have a tool to quickly remove it without all the mess.
How about a robot that could keep the house spotless and the children well groomed.
A Car that filled itself with gas every time.
And kids that didn't fuss, argue or whine.
Do you think you could throw in a moment of sanity so I might remember if I took a shower that day.
I know I am sounding greedy, now Santa, but maybe you could even give me a day when all of my children acted like perfect angels, said "YES MOMMY, right away"
and hair and clothes that looked just right like the movie stars on tv.
Would it be too much to ask for a solid night of sleep without the children waking up screaming or having to go pee.
Oh Santa, I know it's an awfully long list, and I am sure I forgot a few things , like thankful children and a loving husband who always called me love and honey.. and dare I say a pocket full of money... to spend just on me?
(Oops! You should over look that one.. I was just kidding..)
But hey! I figure if you could make Rudolph and all his buddies fly around the world..
You could check my list, twice... if need be and say YEAH WHAT THE HECK.... after all she has been a good mother this year.. Well Almost!!!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
My Dirt is Cleaner Than Your Dirt
Sometimes if you look around you will see people of all sorts shapes and sizes.
If you look even just a little, you will see that people are imperfect in many ways.
If you continue to inspect the others around you, you may start to feel pretty good about yourself, because my goodness this or that is wrong with that other person.
I was thinking that Dirt is Dirt.. it may be in the form of cobwebs on the ceiling or dust on the piano top. Dirt may be tracked in on the floor during muddy seasons.
Slop may be dragged in on wet soggy boots and coats after a good sled riding session, and there are all forms of dirt and filth that present itself on a normal daily basis.
I think people-dirt is like different forms of dirt. See like this..
A person may have a totally spotless house, they get all dressed up and go to church.
Boy! Can they smile and act like they have it all together. Oh yeah, they are super great acting on the outside.
But guess what, under that pretty facade, they may be the most bitter unforgiving person, full of anger, malice pride arrogance, self righteousness, piety, slander, gossip. Perhaps they hate other people, maybe by racism, perhaps for a past hurt that was bestowed by that person.
Chances are that you know one of these people. Perhaps it may be you, yourself that is like this.. hiding the real dirt of your life, because society says one must be such and such..
It could be me. There are days that I look good on the outside and to someone who barely knows me.. I may look great, and underneath that little smile, there might be anger welling up that is not of God or some other thing that looks like Dirt.
I am saying that a person can have a spotless house, both physically and proverbially and yet still be dirty.
Oh they may not be using drugs or killing someone, maybe not even ever committed a dastardly deed in their life.
As for me, I have committed many sins, likely broken all the 10 commandments..
perhaps not physically murdering someone, but when I thought evil about them, them Jesus says that I murdered them in my heart.
We get this idea that just because we may not be committing the big societal sins, that "My Dirt is Cleaner Than Your Dirt."
Jesus tells us that we are not to be white washed tombs, you know like the fence in Tom Sawyer's story.. nice and pretty on the outside, but really dirty underneath, full of the things that go against the Lord. SIN.
SIN= ANYTHING THAT YOU SAY THINK OR DO THAT DISPLEASES GOD.
If you know it to be sin and you continue to do it, that's dirt to God.
If you are given a set of instructions and you only choose to obey part of them, perhaps you have no trouble helping the widows in your church, but you completely ignore the prisoners, with the attitude of they get what they deserve..
That is dirt to God... I could go on.. if you cuss, (of which i am guilty too, and tons of other things that i don't need to mention.)
If you deny others their goodly due. If you look away when you see a brother or sister in the Lord struggling, if you can help and you do not, if you do help and are puffed up over it.. like look what I did.. oh friend the list of dirt can go on forever.
I do not have the time or energy to list all hundreds of thousands things that are considered Dirt to God.
Each one of us knows the dirt that is within us. Most likely, if you are similar to me, we don't need someone else to point out our Dirt? Right.
Here is what God has to say about Dirt(SIN):
1) ALL HAVE SINNED AND FALL SHORT OF THE GLORY OF GOD.
2) JESUS DIED FOR ALL PEOPLE
3) IF YOU CONFESS YOUR SINS HE IS FAITHFUL AND JUST TO
FORGIVE ALL YOUR SINS AND CLEANSE YOU FROM ALL YOUR UNRIGHTEOUSNESS
4) IF ANY MAN (OR WOMAN) HEAR HIS VOICE AND OPEN THE DOOR(TO THEIR HEART)
HE WILL COME IN AND CLEAN THE HOUSE AND YOU WILL BE WHITER THAN SNOW.
I like it when my physical house is clean. But I would rather that the house in my heart is clean and right before God. Not just for my spiritual salvation (which is of up most importance) but also that I am clean in my thoughts and attitudes, in the way I conduct myself in all aspects of my life.
If you talk to my kids or my family, they will quickly tell you that I am not perfect. No but I am quick to ask for forgiveness(most of the time).
So I challenge you to take a look at the Dirt in your life and see if "your dirt is clean" or if it is Just that ... dirt...
Jesus can make you sparkling clean.. will you let him..
If you look even just a little, you will see that people are imperfect in many ways.
If you continue to inspect the others around you, you may start to feel pretty good about yourself, because my goodness this or that is wrong with that other person.
I was thinking that Dirt is Dirt.. it may be in the form of cobwebs on the ceiling or dust on the piano top. Dirt may be tracked in on the floor during muddy seasons.
Slop may be dragged in on wet soggy boots and coats after a good sled riding session, and there are all forms of dirt and filth that present itself on a normal daily basis.
I think people-dirt is like different forms of dirt. See like this..
A person may have a totally spotless house, they get all dressed up and go to church.
Boy! Can they smile and act like they have it all together. Oh yeah, they are super great acting on the outside.
But guess what, under that pretty facade, they may be the most bitter unforgiving person, full of anger, malice pride arrogance, self righteousness, piety, slander, gossip. Perhaps they hate other people, maybe by racism, perhaps for a past hurt that was bestowed by that person.
Chances are that you know one of these people. Perhaps it may be you, yourself that is like this.. hiding the real dirt of your life, because society says one must be such and such..
It could be me. There are days that I look good on the outside and to someone who barely knows me.. I may look great, and underneath that little smile, there might be anger welling up that is not of God or some other thing that looks like Dirt.
I am saying that a person can have a spotless house, both physically and proverbially and yet still be dirty.
Oh they may not be using drugs or killing someone, maybe not even ever committed a dastardly deed in their life.
As for me, I have committed many sins, likely broken all the 10 commandments..
perhaps not physically murdering someone, but when I thought evil about them, them Jesus says that I murdered them in my heart.
We get this idea that just because we may not be committing the big societal sins, that "My Dirt is Cleaner Than Your Dirt."
Jesus tells us that we are not to be white washed tombs, you know like the fence in Tom Sawyer's story.. nice and pretty on the outside, but really dirty underneath, full of the things that go against the Lord. SIN.
SIN= ANYTHING THAT YOU SAY THINK OR DO THAT DISPLEASES GOD.
If you know it to be sin and you continue to do it, that's dirt to God.
If you are given a set of instructions and you only choose to obey part of them, perhaps you have no trouble helping the widows in your church, but you completely ignore the prisoners, with the attitude of they get what they deserve..
That is dirt to God... I could go on.. if you cuss, (of which i am guilty too, and tons of other things that i don't need to mention.)
If you deny others their goodly due. If you look away when you see a brother or sister in the Lord struggling, if you can help and you do not, if you do help and are puffed up over it.. like look what I did.. oh friend the list of dirt can go on forever.
I do not have the time or energy to list all hundreds of thousands things that are considered Dirt to God.
Each one of us knows the dirt that is within us. Most likely, if you are similar to me, we don't need someone else to point out our Dirt? Right.
Here is what God has to say about Dirt(SIN):
1) ALL HAVE SINNED AND FALL SHORT OF THE GLORY OF GOD.
2) JESUS DIED FOR ALL PEOPLE
3) IF YOU CONFESS YOUR SINS HE IS FAITHFUL AND JUST TO
FORGIVE ALL YOUR SINS AND CLEANSE YOU FROM ALL YOUR UNRIGHTEOUSNESS
4) IF ANY MAN (OR WOMAN) HEAR HIS VOICE AND OPEN THE DOOR(TO THEIR HEART)
HE WILL COME IN AND CLEAN THE HOUSE AND YOU WILL BE WHITER THAN SNOW.
I like it when my physical house is clean. But I would rather that the house in my heart is clean and right before God. Not just for my spiritual salvation (which is of up most importance) but also that I am clean in my thoughts and attitudes, in the way I conduct myself in all aspects of my life.
If you talk to my kids or my family, they will quickly tell you that I am not perfect. No but I am quick to ask for forgiveness(most of the time).
So I challenge you to take a look at the Dirt in your life and see if "your dirt is clean" or if it is Just that ... dirt...
Jesus can make you sparkling clean.. will you let him..
Monday, July 25, 2011
'CHRISTIAN SHIRT WEARER'
CHRISTIAN SHIRT WEARER
BY:
GEORGIA PROBST
We were going to have a church picnic after the service was over. I would be a clown and so would Norm. It was going to be his first time ever in a clown suit.
Norm and I went out to the truck to get all of my clowning supplies.. clothes shoes candy and prizes.
There came down the alley, a grubby looking old man, using a cane to steady himself.
I said "Hello and how are you?"
"Oh, I am alright for an old alcoholic." He slurred.
"Well what are you doing right now?" I questioned. "Nothing, why do you ask?"
I said "Well, church is starting in about five minutes, why don't you come in and join us?"
"I am too dirty and I look and smell like ... " I said, "Hey! Look at me.. I am wearing jeans and my toe nails look like that too."
"But I don't know anyone in there." He protested.
"Well, my name is Georgia and that is Norm, now you know two people." I persisted.
"Oh alright, but can I bring my whiskey bottle in there with me?"
"Sure." I said knowing that My God is able to deliver from addictions of every kind.
So we made our way into the church. I could see the people cringe as he walked down the aisle passed them and turn their heads so the stench didn't upset their stomachs.
I kindly asked the people who share my pew to please scoot down so that we could fit.
We sat down and he sat very close to me.
Now right here, I have to interject some honesty.. He reeked of leftover whiskey so badly that I did almost vomit. I prayed to the Lord that he would close my "smeller" so that I could sit next to him. He was ripe!
He leaned in real close to talk to me and the stench was powerful. But I realized that God is more powerful and this man needed the miracle he told me not to expect.
So all during the service. Church went on around us. He sat the entire time, so did I, so that he didn't feel uncomfortable.
He was coming out of a drunken hangover and he was incredibly loud. He talked through the service and I could feel all the people around me, the vibes they sent were un-mistakenly loud.
When it was time for the offering plate to be passed. He blurted out, "Well, I don't have no money to put in the plate... I feel like ... "
I assured him that God didn't need his money and suggested.. "You could offer that whiskey bottle that just fell out of your pocket to God and I bet He would fill you to overflowing with a peace and a joy that you have never had before."
He practically yelled right out loud.."NOW YOU ARE ASKING TOO MUCH, THERE LADY!"
I said, "Look at my eyes and tell me does that bottle ever completely satisfy you, or does it leave you empty every time?"
He said "No it doesn't satisfy me and yes I feel empty."
I said "The reason it can't satisfy you is because it is the wrong shape. You are trying to fill your emptiness with whiskey when only God can fill that spot."
He said "You are probably right, young lady and very persuasive too, but I have been cuddling this bottle for nearly fifty years. It will be a hard habit to break!"
I said "I understand, and I also know that Jesus can set you free in an instant from the desire to ever take a drink again."
Then it was time for the altar call. I said "Would you like me to go up there with you?"
He said, I am in dirty shorts and I smell bad, plus I am all broken out from whiskey." I told him "God is concerned with the inside of your heart not the clothes that you wear, or how you smell."
He didn't go forward, but allowed me to pray with him in our seat, then Norm came over and prayed with him and talked to him. Then we asked him if he wanted the pastor to come pray with him, he said "Oh yes, that would be good."
So I went forward and asked the pastor to come pray. We talked about all his issues that he thought prevented him from coming to the Lord.
The pastor prayed and nothing miraculous happened, though I wished it would have. That would have been truly a miracle and it could yet happen.
Then came the lunch after church. I took my friend out to the yard and fetched him a soda.
He asked if he could sneak a drink of his whiskey and I said well you are on church property, he asked if he could smoke and I told him there were a lot of little ones around and perhaps he could hold off a bit. He was totally okay with that. (well almost)
So I went on my merry way ,went and got in my clown suit.
Now here is the interesting part. A clown can say or do things that a regular person can not.
There sat my wino friend on a broken down picnic table and there were all the "Christian Shirt Wearers" way far away, not talking to him or treating him like a person at all.
So "Bubbles" went over to a couple of people and said, "Hey! Do you think you could go talk to my friend, he is lonely and has not found any friends yet.
My oh my, their shirts nearly fell off with that request. I was not happy. But you know a couple of people reluctantly went over and shook his hand and introduced themselves, ( and I bet they ran to get their hand sanitizer when they were done too) ( oh sorry.. that was me being sarcastic.. or was it the truth?)
I didn't see anyone make room at their table, I guess the Inn was full!
So my friend stayed the entire time. He told me that he would come back next week. I smiled broadly, gave him a hug and told him I would be expecting him.
He said, "I have to go now, I need a drink and a smoke.. I am dying for both!"
Now here comes some observations.
The man had lots of excuses as to why God wouldn't want to help him.. he thought he was too dirty to come to the Lord and that his years of addictions made him unfit for God.
Yes it is true that his addictions have kept him separated from God, but God loves all of us and wants us to come to Him, so that He can restore us and make us whole. God desires to have a relationship with each of us and to give us life more abundantly!
The "Christian Shirt Wearers.." My! They sure do look good.. coming to church all dressed in their 3 piece suits and Best Sunday dresses, but underneath that, they are not so clean now are they. I think their self righteousness stinks worse than the left over alcohol that my friend wore as bad cologne.
Hey! I am not suggesting that they should hug him (for a long time or that they have to become his very best friend) or even invite him for dinner.. but maybe that is what he needs.
I was nauseated more by their repugnance towards him than the smell arising from his whiskey wrecked body.
I thought didn't Jesus say that church is for the sick.
Well that made me sick to think that here is a man who is badly in need of the miracle he told me not to expect and there they all stay far away as possible.
I hope that my friend does come to church next Sunday. I (secretly hope ) that he is able to take a bath before he comes (because I am a human with a weak stomach for pungent odors) but if he is not able to bathe, I sincerely pray that God will meet him where he is and deliver him from the things that as he so adequately described.. he's dying for..
help me Jesus to be more like you and to take off my "Christian Shirt" attitude and truly be a Christian. To love the unlovable just as you loved. To see them with your eyes of compassion and not to let the stench of their lives deter me from leading them to the One who loves them and gave His Son to save their soul from Hell.
BY:
GEORGIA PROBST
We were going to have a church picnic after the service was over. I would be a clown and so would Norm. It was going to be his first time ever in a clown suit.
Norm and I went out to the truck to get all of my clowning supplies.. clothes shoes candy and prizes.
There came down the alley, a grubby looking old man, using a cane to steady himself.
I said "Hello and how are you?"
"Oh, I am alright for an old alcoholic." He slurred.
"Well what are you doing right now?" I questioned. "Nothing, why do you ask?"
I said "Well, church is starting in about five minutes, why don't you come in and join us?"
"I am too dirty and I look and smell like ... " I said, "Hey! Look at me.. I am wearing jeans and my toe nails look like that too."
"But I don't know anyone in there." He protested.
"Well, my name is Georgia and that is Norm, now you know two people." I persisted.
"Oh alright, but can I bring my whiskey bottle in there with me?"
"Sure." I said knowing that My God is able to deliver from addictions of every kind.
So we made our way into the church. I could see the people cringe as he walked down the aisle passed them and turn their heads so the stench didn't upset their stomachs.
I kindly asked the people who share my pew to please scoot down so that we could fit.
We sat down and he sat very close to me.
Now right here, I have to interject some honesty.. He reeked of leftover whiskey so badly that I did almost vomit. I prayed to the Lord that he would close my "smeller" so that I could sit next to him. He was ripe!
He leaned in real close to talk to me and the stench was powerful. But I realized that God is more powerful and this man needed the miracle he told me not to expect.
So all during the service. Church went on around us. He sat the entire time, so did I, so that he didn't feel uncomfortable.
He was coming out of a drunken hangover and he was incredibly loud. He talked through the service and I could feel all the people around me, the vibes they sent were un-mistakenly loud.
When it was time for the offering plate to be passed. He blurted out, "Well, I don't have no money to put in the plate... I feel like ... "
I assured him that God didn't need his money and suggested.. "You could offer that whiskey bottle that just fell out of your pocket to God and I bet He would fill you to overflowing with a peace and a joy that you have never had before."
He practically yelled right out loud.."NOW YOU ARE ASKING TOO MUCH, THERE LADY!"
I said, "Look at my eyes and tell me does that bottle ever completely satisfy you, or does it leave you empty every time?"
He said "No it doesn't satisfy me and yes I feel empty."
I said "The reason it can't satisfy you is because it is the wrong shape. You are trying to fill your emptiness with whiskey when only God can fill that spot."
He said "You are probably right, young lady and very persuasive too, but I have been cuddling this bottle for nearly fifty years. It will be a hard habit to break!"
I said "I understand, and I also know that Jesus can set you free in an instant from the desire to ever take a drink again."
Then it was time for the altar call. I said "Would you like me to go up there with you?"
He said, I am in dirty shorts and I smell bad, plus I am all broken out from whiskey." I told him "God is concerned with the inside of your heart not the clothes that you wear, or how you smell."
He didn't go forward, but allowed me to pray with him in our seat, then Norm came over and prayed with him and talked to him. Then we asked him if he wanted the pastor to come pray with him, he said "Oh yes, that would be good."
So I went forward and asked the pastor to come pray. We talked about all his issues that he thought prevented him from coming to the Lord.
The pastor prayed and nothing miraculous happened, though I wished it would have. That would have been truly a miracle and it could yet happen.
Then came the lunch after church. I took my friend out to the yard and fetched him a soda.
He asked if he could sneak a drink of his whiskey and I said well you are on church property, he asked if he could smoke and I told him there were a lot of little ones around and perhaps he could hold off a bit. He was totally okay with that. (well almost)
So I went on my merry way ,went and got in my clown suit.
Now here is the interesting part. A clown can say or do things that a regular person can not.
There sat my wino friend on a broken down picnic table and there were all the "Christian Shirt Wearers" way far away, not talking to him or treating him like a person at all.
So "Bubbles" went over to a couple of people and said, "Hey! Do you think you could go talk to my friend, he is lonely and has not found any friends yet.
My oh my, their shirts nearly fell off with that request. I was not happy. But you know a couple of people reluctantly went over and shook his hand and introduced themselves, ( and I bet they ran to get their hand sanitizer when they were done too) ( oh sorry.. that was me being sarcastic.. or was it the truth?)
I didn't see anyone make room at their table, I guess the Inn was full!
So my friend stayed the entire time. He told me that he would come back next week. I smiled broadly, gave him a hug and told him I would be expecting him.
He said, "I have to go now, I need a drink and a smoke.. I am dying for both!"
Now here comes some observations.
The man had lots of excuses as to why God wouldn't want to help him.. he thought he was too dirty to come to the Lord and that his years of addictions made him unfit for God.
Yes it is true that his addictions have kept him separated from God, but God loves all of us and wants us to come to Him, so that He can restore us and make us whole. God desires to have a relationship with each of us and to give us life more abundantly!
The "Christian Shirt Wearers.." My! They sure do look good.. coming to church all dressed in their 3 piece suits and Best Sunday dresses, but underneath that, they are not so clean now are they. I think their self righteousness stinks worse than the left over alcohol that my friend wore as bad cologne.
Hey! I am not suggesting that they should hug him (for a long time or that they have to become his very best friend) or even invite him for dinner.. but maybe that is what he needs.
I was nauseated more by their repugnance towards him than the smell arising from his whiskey wrecked body.
I thought didn't Jesus say that church is for the sick.
Well that made me sick to think that here is a man who is badly in need of the miracle he told me not to expect and there they all stay far away as possible.
I hope that my friend does come to church next Sunday. I (secretly hope ) that he is able to take a bath before he comes (because I am a human with a weak stomach for pungent odors) but if he is not able to bathe, I sincerely pray that God will meet him where he is and deliver him from the things that as he so adequately described.. he's dying for..
help me Jesus to be more like you and to take off my "Christian Shirt" attitude and truly be a Christian. To love the unlovable just as you loved. To see them with your eyes of compassion and not to let the stench of their lives deter me from leading them to the One who loves them and gave His Son to save their soul from Hell.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Men of Caliper
Today, I am going to talk to you about important men.
There are men out there that are great men of God. They have done mighty and wonderful things. These men love their wives wholeheartedly and would never contemplate cheating or being abusive. They have their priorities lined up and know exactly where they are going in life.
Then there are other types of men..
Men that make babies, leave their wives unsupported and run around acting like crazy fools, with no purpose! Gettin' drunk actin' stupid!
Here's what I think that makes a man important.
He first of all loves God with all his heart and mind and soul.
He loves his wife and honors her above himself.
He loves his children and trains them to be men and women of character.
He is not afraid to be different in the work place and he values his family time.
His walk matches his talk. He is decent and conducts himself with humility.
I have to wonder where have all the good men gone?
I see men that are losers, who swear and act like real idiots!! They spit and talk trash in front of women and children.
What happened to men that used to show respect and honor? What happened to men standing up when a woman walks in? What happened to men taking their hats off in restaurant.
I think that if men would start acting like real men and stop acting like pansies that are needy and unreliable, self absorbed prigs, then the rest of society would straighten up!
How about men who truly love God and are called according to his purposes.. How about taking a stand against what is wrong like stop looking at porn on the computer.. or checking out the trashy magazines in the check out line or looking at the skinny babes and wishing they could be yours in your mind while you have a perfectly wonderful wife and mother that is already yours. Single men.. you need to straighten up and fly right too!!
Hey men.. I think it is time that you "Man up." Stop this crying and whining and acting like the world owes you something.
I think that if you want respect men.. you need to start giving it in all areas of life. At work! At home! At play!!
I know times have changed and people need to change too, but I don't think that respect changes. It always sets the standard!!
I truly want to see some Men of Caliper show the world how to conduct them selves like men..
Hey guys! While I am busting your chops right now.. you know what is horrible.. men who wear their pants down around their rumps.. it is gross and disgusting and only pigs like that look!
You know what? You should meet my dad! He is a man of honor and I wish the world was made up of more guys just like him.
There are men out there that are great men of God. They have done mighty and wonderful things. These men love their wives wholeheartedly and would never contemplate cheating or being abusive. They have their priorities lined up and know exactly where they are going in life.
Then there are other types of men..
Men that make babies, leave their wives unsupported and run around acting like crazy fools, with no purpose! Gettin' drunk actin' stupid!
Here's what I think that makes a man important.
He first of all loves God with all his heart and mind and soul.
He loves his wife and honors her above himself.
He loves his children and trains them to be men and women of character.
He is not afraid to be different in the work place and he values his family time.
His walk matches his talk. He is decent and conducts himself with humility.
I have to wonder where have all the good men gone?
I see men that are losers, who swear and act like real idiots!! They spit and talk trash in front of women and children.
What happened to men that used to show respect and honor? What happened to men standing up when a woman walks in? What happened to men taking their hats off in restaurant.
I think that if men would start acting like real men and stop acting like pansies that are needy and unreliable, self absorbed prigs, then the rest of society would straighten up!
How about men who truly love God and are called according to his purposes.. How about taking a stand against what is wrong like stop looking at porn on the computer.. or checking out the trashy magazines in the check out line or looking at the skinny babes and wishing they could be yours in your mind while you have a perfectly wonderful wife and mother that is already yours. Single men.. you need to straighten up and fly right too!!
Hey men.. I think it is time that you "Man up." Stop this crying and whining and acting like the world owes you something.
I think that if you want respect men.. you need to start giving it in all areas of life. At work! At home! At play!!
I know times have changed and people need to change too, but I don't think that respect changes. It always sets the standard!!
I truly want to see some Men of Caliper show the world how to conduct them selves like men..
Hey guys! While I am busting your chops right now.. you know what is horrible.. men who wear their pants down around their rumps.. it is gross and disgusting and only pigs like that look!
You know what? You should meet my dad! He is a man of honor and I wish the world was made up of more guys just like him.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Could you be content?
There are some people who seem to be born with silver spoon in their mouths while others go down the road of poverty for years.
Some folks have looks that are to die for and then there are those who with one look can kill you. Not Really.. but that's how it seems.
Of course, we know that there are those who can eat like a horse and stay the way they were when they entered the 12th grade.. skinny as a rail.
Then there are those like me that just the smell of a goody and my diet is shot for a whole month.
I have been reading my Bible where the apostle Paul talks about being content, in all circumstances.
Whether destitute or full and over flowing, we're to be content. You know, I've been thinking that there are those people who have beyond beautiful houses, with perfect looking spouses and pretty well behaved children and most likely a nice car to ride around town, in to boot.
Yet why is it that the house isn't good enough, they have to build fix or remodel, up grade I believe is the term.
They have wonderful wives, yet are willing to give it all up for a glance at a "younger,, skinnier,, prettier" version of what they think the going babe should look like according to the most recent billboard on the way to work, or that trash we saw on tv last night.
I wonder why when we have a car to drive and it is functioning perfectly fine, do we see the need to rush out and get ourselves right back into the debt that we swore we would never do again, and yet here goes another 5 years of our lives down the drain for a car that will rust and fall apart just like the other one did.
How is it that we Americans have to have the latest and greatest this that or the other thing? When there are hundreds of thousands of folks all across the world that are happy if they have one pair of shoes or one shirt to wear for work and one to wear when they walk 20 miles to go to church each week.
I am speaking to myself too. I look at the mounds of laundry that I have and say you know that is just too much clothing for one person and a couple of kids to have. Why the last I checked, I still only feel comfortable wearing one outfit at a time..(that is unless you are my son Jack, who wears five shirts, church vest, and five pairs of under ware along with six pairs of shorts and pants.. sometimes he can't even walk straight!)
You know what I think, this boils down too is the fact that we are not really content. We are trying to fill up our lives with so much stuff, music; sex; drugs; relationships; pets; hobbies, you know what else I may have left out because you too have areas in your own life that you aren't content with. Don't worry, I am not singling anyone out.
Just merely pointing out a fact that we are not a content people. The greedier the better seems to be the most popular goings on now-a-days.
So how do I fix it you might say? First, we need to take a look at our lives and see where it is cluttered and determine to de-stress, perhaps by throwing six bags of things to the thrifty shop that you haven't used in over a year, maybe it means that you go out one less day a week.
Maybe it means to stop enrolling your child in every event this side of glory. Believe me, they are not going to die if they are not in every single extra curricular activity known to man. There are those people in the world that never participated in this that and every activity that presented itself and you know what they are well rounded okay and even a stable person!
I figure it is like this, if we clear the clutter out of our dining room, we may enjoy eating at home for once. If we get rid of things that put stress on our marriages we may decide "Hey, I remember you and I actually kind of like you."
I remember when I was in youth group (yes years ago) that our pastor told us.. "If you have your priorities in line with God's word, your life will line up and you will be a lot more content with what you have."
God first, family next, church and work. If you think that you can devote 80 hours to work every week, go to every game, go out with friends constantly and or whatever else you can put on the list, you can't without something else cracking under the pressure. This is why over 50 % of marriages fail, and that's christian marriages as well, we are not exempt!
I am feeling the urge to write this.. I think that many marriages are falling apart today, for the mere fact that there is so much outside stress that you don't have time to nurture that God given opportunity when you said I do to the one that you now can't often stand, let alone remember what her favorite color is or when your anniversary is. We only tend to remember the wrong they have done or the things that they forgot to do to make us happy.
People think oh, if we just made more money or had more kids or add your own paraphrase here, that we will be happier.
No! what is that country song I used to hear? We need a bigger house to hold all our stuff.
We need to simplify! Get back to the basics. Focus on God and the good that He is doing ( even if you can't see it). Tell you spouse that you love and appreciate them often. There could come a day when you won't be able to do that and those moments are so very precious ( I know!)
You know what don't forget to tell your kids that you love them too. They deserve to hear good job kid I love you, even if they don't do everything exactly as you think they should or as perfectly as you could!
Let's make it our desire to live a quiet life and to be content with the things that we have!!
I will bet any money that if you and I would be content with what we already have. and truly content, that our Heavenly Father who wants to give us good gifts, would say well done thou good and faithful servant and bless us with a whole lot more!!
Just something to think about! I am thinking too!
God bless you and yours!!
Some folks have looks that are to die for and then there are those who with one look can kill you. Not Really.. but that's how it seems.
Of course, we know that there are those who can eat like a horse and stay the way they were when they entered the 12th grade.. skinny as a rail.
Then there are those like me that just the smell of a goody and my diet is shot for a whole month.
I have been reading my Bible where the apostle Paul talks about being content, in all circumstances.
Whether destitute or full and over flowing, we're to be content. You know, I've been thinking that there are those people who have beyond beautiful houses, with perfect looking spouses and pretty well behaved children and most likely a nice car to ride around town, in to boot.
Yet why is it that the house isn't good enough, they have to build fix or remodel, up grade I believe is the term.
They have wonderful wives, yet are willing to give it all up for a glance at a "younger,, skinnier,, prettier" version of what they think the going babe should look like according to the most recent billboard on the way to work, or that trash we saw on tv last night.
I wonder why when we have a car to drive and it is functioning perfectly fine, do we see the need to rush out and get ourselves right back into the debt that we swore we would never do again, and yet here goes another 5 years of our lives down the drain for a car that will rust and fall apart just like the other one did.
How is it that we Americans have to have the latest and greatest this that or the other thing? When there are hundreds of thousands of folks all across the world that are happy if they have one pair of shoes or one shirt to wear for work and one to wear when they walk 20 miles to go to church each week.
I am speaking to myself too. I look at the mounds of laundry that I have and say you know that is just too much clothing for one person and a couple of kids to have. Why the last I checked, I still only feel comfortable wearing one outfit at a time..(that is unless you are my son Jack, who wears five shirts, church vest, and five pairs of under ware along with six pairs of shorts and pants.. sometimes he can't even walk straight!)
You know what I think, this boils down too is the fact that we are not really content. We are trying to fill up our lives with so much stuff, music; sex; drugs; relationships; pets; hobbies, you know what else I may have left out because you too have areas in your own life that you aren't content with. Don't worry, I am not singling anyone out.
Just merely pointing out a fact that we are not a content people. The greedier the better seems to be the most popular goings on now-a-days.
So how do I fix it you might say? First, we need to take a look at our lives and see where it is cluttered and determine to de-stress, perhaps by throwing six bags of things to the thrifty shop that you haven't used in over a year, maybe it means that you go out one less day a week.
Maybe it means to stop enrolling your child in every event this side of glory. Believe me, they are not going to die if they are not in every single extra curricular activity known to man. There are those people in the world that never participated in this that and every activity that presented itself and you know what they are well rounded okay and even a stable person!
I figure it is like this, if we clear the clutter out of our dining room, we may enjoy eating at home for once. If we get rid of things that put stress on our marriages we may decide "Hey, I remember you and I actually kind of like you."
I remember when I was in youth group (yes years ago) that our pastor told us.. "If you have your priorities in line with God's word, your life will line up and you will be a lot more content with what you have."
God first, family next, church and work. If you think that you can devote 80 hours to work every week, go to every game, go out with friends constantly and or whatever else you can put on the list, you can't without something else cracking under the pressure. This is why over 50 % of marriages fail, and that's christian marriages as well, we are not exempt!
I am feeling the urge to write this.. I think that many marriages are falling apart today, for the mere fact that there is so much outside stress that you don't have time to nurture that God given opportunity when you said I do to the one that you now can't often stand, let alone remember what her favorite color is or when your anniversary is. We only tend to remember the wrong they have done or the things that they forgot to do to make us happy.
People think oh, if we just made more money or had more kids or add your own paraphrase here, that we will be happier.
No! what is that country song I used to hear? We need a bigger house to hold all our stuff.
We need to simplify! Get back to the basics. Focus on God and the good that He is doing ( even if you can't see it). Tell you spouse that you love and appreciate them often. There could come a day when you won't be able to do that and those moments are so very precious ( I know!)
You know what don't forget to tell your kids that you love them too. They deserve to hear good job kid I love you, even if they don't do everything exactly as you think they should or as perfectly as you could!
Let's make it our desire to live a quiet life and to be content with the things that we have!!
I will bet any money that if you and I would be content with what we already have. and truly content, that our Heavenly Father who wants to give us good gifts, would say well done thou good and faithful servant and bless us with a whole lot more!!
Just something to think about! I am thinking too!
God bless you and yours!!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Who am I
Who am I?
Based on real life events..
I am a daughter by birth and a sister by chance.
I am a daughter through adoption.
I am a wife and a mother to four wonderful kids..
not perfect in any sense of the matter, yet still their mother.
I am a friend to one and all.
I do not judge people for what they look like rather try to see the
contents of their heart and go based on the perceptions that I see.
I feel that I am a good person, who would help anyone as much as I was able.
However, lately my character of who I am and the person that others know me to be
has been called into question.
Declaring me to be a fragile self absorbed person, not living in reality, unfit to be a mother, having a deplorable home so bad that the person who wrote this report said that I am suicidal and should not have my children with me any longer until I go to psycho therapy, attend parent classes and get my home in livable condition.
I have had my world turned upside down in the last six months and yes there were days that I may have cried an ocean, there may have been days when there were three baskets of laundry in the basement.
Here's what I know.
My husband is incarcerated and sentenced to 25 years of prison(only by the grace of God will that change.
My house was in foreclosure and God took care of that for 48 dollars.
My ex husband has been draining the life out of any money that I had (which was next to none) trying to get custody of the children that I have had for their entire lives.
I was told that my only source of income would be discontinued after February.
Children and youth were called and that makes me a target for them,, but thank The Lord they are actually on my side
Yeah, that about covers the stress that I have been under.,. not tot mention that fact that I have four children that I am raising all on my own with little outside help.
So excuse me if I have seemed a bit stressed and I ask any one who wants to challenge my parenting abilities.. exactly what kind of shape would they be in placed in my exact circumstances.
Here's my reality. I have kept my house going for almost 18 months by myself..
I have kept the bills paid on little or next to nothing.. the kids have survived and are actually doing well. (The girls have good grades)
I have not ended up in the nut hut or even come close though there were a couple of times without the support of my friends and some family. it might have been a close call
I have kept up all obligations with bills cars kids house and lawn, I have made sure that my children didn't starve or ever go hungry. They have been appropriately dressed for all seasons.. *well at least I provided the ability whether or not they chose to wear a coat was on them..ie the girls)
On top of these things. I have been involved with my church and started a jail ministry of writing to prisoners who are mostly lifers.
I have been a support to others who have family or friends incarcerated and even been their taxi to help them with their errands.. like picking them up to take them to visit their inmate, taking them to the grocery store, even taking my one friend to have her elderly cat put to sleep and picked up his ashes and delivered them when she couldn't do so for herself.
I feel that I have risen above the circumstances that life has thrown my way and am making strides to move forward despite all that has been taken from me.
I am currently studying to take the civil service test to be a postal carrier and on my fourth time taking a practice test got a 100% on part of the test.
So in all of this am I bragging.. nope absolutely not.. I am just saying that I am an over-comer and always have been.
Oh that lady's vicious report, yeah it cut me deep in my heart, but I know that is not who I am. Her words were biased and prejudiced against me, and most people who know my story, tell me that they think that I am strong and don't even know how I have made it this far.
Sometimes in life people will say things that are not true. Things that may cut you like a knife, but in reality each person knows that they have worth not based on what one person says or does.
I have always found my worth in what my Lord thinks of me.
He says that I am the apple of his eye, that he has my name carved on the palm of His hand. H says that I am a daughter of the king, co heirs with Jesus his son. He says that he loves me enough to die for me and enough to come again to take me to his Heaven to be with Him. God tells me of my worth and tells me to run to Him when I need a Safe Haven or a Rock or a Refuge.
So who am I? I am a daughter of the Most High God and I find my worth in Him.
I hope that when things go wrong in your life that you also may find your true worth and value in the One who loves you and cherishes you as His very own.
Amen!!
Based on real life events..
I am a daughter by birth and a sister by chance.
I am a daughter through adoption.
I am a wife and a mother to four wonderful kids..
not perfect in any sense of the matter, yet still their mother.
I am a friend to one and all.
I do not judge people for what they look like rather try to see the
contents of their heart and go based on the perceptions that I see.
I feel that I am a good person, who would help anyone as much as I was able.
However, lately my character of who I am and the person that others know me to be
has been called into question.
Declaring me to be a fragile self absorbed person, not living in reality, unfit to be a mother, having a deplorable home so bad that the person who wrote this report said that I am suicidal and should not have my children with me any longer until I go to psycho therapy, attend parent classes and get my home in livable condition.
I have had my world turned upside down in the last six months and yes there were days that I may have cried an ocean, there may have been days when there were three baskets of laundry in the basement.
Here's what I know.
My husband is incarcerated and sentenced to 25 years of prison(only by the grace of God will that change.
My house was in foreclosure and God took care of that for 48 dollars.
My ex husband has been draining the life out of any money that I had (which was next to none) trying to get custody of the children that I have had for their entire lives.
I was told that my only source of income would be discontinued after February.
Children and youth were called and that makes me a target for them,, but thank The Lord they are actually on my side
Yeah, that about covers the stress that I have been under.,. not tot mention that fact that I have four children that I am raising all on my own with little outside help.
So excuse me if I have seemed a bit stressed and I ask any one who wants to challenge my parenting abilities.. exactly what kind of shape would they be in placed in my exact circumstances.
Here's my reality. I have kept my house going for almost 18 months by myself..
I have kept the bills paid on little or next to nothing.. the kids have survived and are actually doing well. (The girls have good grades)
I have not ended up in the nut hut or even come close though there were a couple of times without the support of my friends and some family. it might have been a close call
I have kept up all obligations with bills cars kids house and lawn, I have made sure that my children didn't starve or ever go hungry. They have been appropriately dressed for all seasons.. *well at least I provided the ability whether or not they chose to wear a coat was on them..ie the girls)
On top of these things. I have been involved with my church and started a jail ministry of writing to prisoners who are mostly lifers.
I have been a support to others who have family or friends incarcerated and even been their taxi to help them with their errands.. like picking them up to take them to visit their inmate, taking them to the grocery store, even taking my one friend to have her elderly cat put to sleep and picked up his ashes and delivered them when she couldn't do so for herself.
I feel that I have risen above the circumstances that life has thrown my way and am making strides to move forward despite all that has been taken from me.
I am currently studying to take the civil service test to be a postal carrier and on my fourth time taking a practice test got a 100% on part of the test.
So in all of this am I bragging.. nope absolutely not.. I am just saying that I am an over-comer and always have been.
Oh that lady's vicious report, yeah it cut me deep in my heart, but I know that is not who I am. Her words were biased and prejudiced against me, and most people who know my story, tell me that they think that I am strong and don't even know how I have made it this far.
Sometimes in life people will say things that are not true. Things that may cut you like a knife, but in reality each person knows that they have worth not based on what one person says or does.
I have always found my worth in what my Lord thinks of me.
He says that I am the apple of his eye, that he has my name carved on the palm of His hand. H says that I am a daughter of the king, co heirs with Jesus his son. He says that he loves me enough to die for me and enough to come again to take me to his Heaven to be with Him. God tells me of my worth and tells me to run to Him when I need a Safe Haven or a Rock or a Refuge.
So who am I? I am a daughter of the Most High God and I find my worth in Him.
I hope that when things go wrong in your life that you also may find your true worth and value in the One who loves you and cherishes you as His very own.
Amen!!
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